


The Great Coffee Raid

by fluffylikebunnies



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2074860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffylikebunnies/pseuds/fluffylikebunnies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It began, like most things involving her, completely and utterly by accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Paramour (LovelyDevil)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyDevil/gifts).



> Not beta'd

It began, like most things involving her, completely and utterly by accident. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was a little known fact that Darcy loved apples. Loved. She ate several daily, but only the red ones. Someone once asked her why she preferred those apples over any others and her response about them being bold, red, and delicious like herself earned her a sexual harassment e-mail from Pepper she casually deleted. 

She had made it known upon moving to the floor she fully expected apples to be left for her. On her first week someone thought ignoring her kind, generous warning was smart. She had turned the corner to find the bowl empty. She heard snickering from the back section of the kitchen and snarled at the scientists sitting there. Lounging back in their chairs, cutting up red apples. 

Now, Darcy was no fool and she could actually, with time and a cool mind, create situations and plans that were brilliant in their entirety. Today however, no such plan came to her. She has politely asked for the apples to be left and they not only ignored her, they openly mocked her. She, being smart and involved in a number of plans did the only thing she could. She picked up the bowl and threw it in their general direction, then turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen. 

She moved so quick she was past the doorway before she heard their startled yelps behind her, and her face split into a grin. 

That little incident got her a call where she was politely ordered to Pepper's office. Under a stern look from Miss. Potts she claimed it was a complete and horrific accident. She was pretty positive Pepper knew she was lying through her teeth. The apple she tossed her before she walked out the door was most likely proof of that. 

Darcy bit into it with a satisfying crunch as she walked out the office. Vindication never tasted so good.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Normally she ignored people in the morning. Especially before her breakfast but most especially before any caffeine. She was not a caffeine junkie by any means but she was not one to denounce the black nectar of god. She didn't have to deal with anyone before 10am normally, giving her ample time to get herself together. There was once time involving a new aide, unsigned paperwork and threats about death and mayhem that got her another e-mail to add to her collection, but since then all of her appointments or activities had mysteriously been moved back an hour. 

She looked back on it as a fond learning experience. Threatening death and mayhem got shit done.

It should come as no surprise that though apples were left in a plentiful supply all over the kitchen she frequented, she decided (with maybe some help from yet another e-mail from Pepper) to go to a different location for them. That was how she found herself wanding into the kitchen on the 65th floor, a yawn escaping her as she made her way to the fruit area. 

A sudden loud cursing, had her jump nearly a foot in the air as she grabbed her chest and whirled around to see a man in a lab coat shaking the coffee machine. 

'Oh my god, one of them has finally lost it.'

Darcy weighed her options. She could quietly walk out, try a different floor and pretend she say nothing or she could try to help the guy and potentially end up in a situation with another e-mail from Pepper. 

She was getting quite found of those e-mails. Peper was even color coding the paragraphs she really wanted her to ignore. Er, see. 

Decision made, Darcy stepped towards him. 

“You ok man?”

He stopped suddenly and turned towards her. 

“It's broken.”

Darcy frowned. “You can go to the other floor, I am sure that one is working.”

His eye started twitching. 

“That one is decaf.” He spat decaf like it offended him. Darcy nodded in understanding. 

“Ok, well lets make a note to the crew and they will fix it. In the meantime how about you and I take a break to the Starbucks in the lobby and get some delicious mocha love, my treat.”

He looked at her for a minute before his shoulders drooped and he turned back to the machine to poke it with a finger. 

“This one is always breaking, and each floor caters to the scientists on it. We have put in for repairs, its been days.”

Darcy frowned at this, she understood things broke but it seemed careless for Tony to ignore his people. She thought back to how she corrected her problem but quickly vetoed that idea. She doubted Pepper would be so forgiving about a coffee pot sailing towards her boyfriends head. 

'Then again...'

The man interrupted Darcy's thoughts. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I mean- I didn't,” he sighed, “you are very nice to offer. I am sorry you had to see that, let me treat you, please. It's not like this will change anytime soon.” 

Darcy smiled. “You know what,” she gestured for his name.

“Marcus.”

“Marcus, you know what? Sometimes, you gotta chuck a bowl at someones head and threaten mayhem to get things done.”

“Wait, I don-”

Darcy waved him off and strolled forward to grab his arm. 

“We have planning to do Marcus. This pot won't fix itself.” 

Under his stammered protests Darcy banked the island, and pulled the startled man around the corner.  
The pages of the newspaper, rustled from the breeze of their passing were still settling when Darcy flew back into the kitchen and grabbed her apple from it's bowl. She turned on her heel before stopping, turning back and grabbing the whole bowl. There was a strict policy now of sharing and not removing items, but if she was going to get color coded e-mails she wanted the full rainbow. 

'How bout them apples?' She thought as she shinned an apple on her arm. 

 

End Part 1.


	2. The Great Coffee Raid, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking back on it, the plan was not without its…questionable moments. 
> 
> But really, what is life without a little mayhem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I am sorry this has taken so long. I have been having some health concerns. As in I have a specialist visit next week that has been on my mind. 
> 
> Also work and my art and my personal life have been stressing me out and of course it's the time of year for ugh moments. (Sorry, not a big holiday fan.)
> 
> This chapter has quotes from The Art of War by Sun Tzu. 
> 
> Again, it's not beta'd

Looking back on it, the plan was not without its…questionable moments. 

But really, what is life without a little mayhem. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Are we all here?”

Darcy looked around the room slowly. In the low light she knew not everyone was as visible as her, leaning down on the low table with her hands splayed out and her hair getting warm from the hanging lamp above her. 

So what if she knew she looked like she stepped into a 1940’s noir, planning an attack needed such elements.

Also, she looked cool.

At the several nods she happened to notice she straightened and tapped a finger against the table, turning to look behind her.

“Alight, lets move on this shindig. Marcus?”

The slender scientist stepped into the circle of light around her.

“The situation on our floor has gotten wildly out of control.”

Darcy raised and eyebrow but said nothing.

“We work hard, pull long hours, and find ourselves marching floors up or down to find coffee. Asking for a simple machine fix has done nothing. It’s time for us to remedy the situation ourselves. Nancy, do you have them?”

A short blonde shuffled forward holding several large paper rolls under her arm that she unceremoniously dropped onto the metal table. Darcy prodded one with her finger, her mouth turned down as she turned to Marcus. 

He blinked at her. “Blueprints.” 

From somewhere in the dark a voice spoke up. “To a surrounded enemy, you must leave a way of escape.”

Darcy’s eyebrows shot into her hairline and she turned to Marcus, a clear what the fuck was that shit etched across her face.

Marcus turned his chin up, clearly exasperated. “Steve decided he needed to research because god forbid anything here is done without making it a homework assignment. He spent all last night reading The Art of War and can now quote it from memory. In fact it’s pretty much been his only response all day.”

He paused, “He’s very proud.” 

Darcy leaned to peer into the dark. She happened a glance at Marcus, before looking back into the shadows. 

“Ook you, you I will watch. Like Hawkeye Greenleaf will be put to little birdy shame watch pal. Don’t think I - wait, blueprints. How in all that is red and delicious did you get blueprints?”

Her head snapping back to Marcus and then turning to the blonde who now had a sly smirk spreading across her face. 

“Lets just say Miss. Potts happened to receive an anonymous complaint about a certain Stark and his affinity for making comments to the females on our floor.”

The blonde shrugged.

“When pulled into her office to be questioned about it, I happened to mention researching the building design and how…happy that would make me. So happy nothing else would ever cross my mind. The blueprints were at my desk the next day. 

Darcy’s mouth dropped as she stared at the girl in clear shock. 

“To know your enemy, you must become your enemy.” The veiled walking text quote spoke again and Darcy’s head dropped into her hands. 

“Oh my god. I need an apple.”

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

It took Darcy about an hour to realize she have severely underestimated what putting smart, caffeine deprived scientists in a room were capable of. 

She filed this information away for future need. 

“Alright. Are we in agreement? Everyone know their roles?”

A hand from the back shot up. 

“Yes, the flesh covered digit.” 

“Uh, I thought the point was to steal a coffee maker from the top office. I don’t understand glitter thing, or the second kitchen raid, or why we need to have someone hide out in the vents. Wouldn’t a simple distraction make things easier without all this mess?”

She couldn’t help it, after sitting in this room with them and listening to the great plans and the voices of gusto and determination that would cry out from the back, knowing she had a trick up her sleeve really put the icing on her cupcake.   
Rocking back on her heels Darcy crossed her arms and smirked.

“So you think we should steal a machine, bring it back here, set it up and when it breaks again, what is your plan? Steal another machine? Go back to your routine of star-treking your way where no one has gone before? 

“So what is the actual plan then?”

Darcy turned to look at Marcus who was staring at her like she grew another head. 

“The final frontier.”

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Biting into her apple with a satisfying crunch Darcy surveyed the new coffee digs. 

A sleek countertop loaded with machine after machine of coffee makers. A 60 inch TV screen loaded with any channel ever accessible. Leather couches with pillows that were probably too much money for her to be dripping juice on. 

(She flipped the pillow over.) 

A wall of windows with tinting. Shelves of books, movies, magazines. Doing a quick sweep Darcy did NOT see The Art of War anywhere. 

Well that was easily fixed. After all we can’t have Tony happy. 

Basically the plan to end all plans could not have been a bigger failure. Someone happened to hear them in the kitchen before anything could be done, and certain scientists who would remain nameless took off at the first footstep. 

The glitter event also didn’t go over as planned however that was remedied by the glitter team joining with the vent team to make it rain in the main lounge.

Darcy was hyperventilating at the brilliance of it all. Really, there might have even been tears. 

(Also after caving to being the mastermind behind the deed, the note she was sent, she noticed without an ounce of regret, had a small shiny glittering square in the corner. She took it as a sign.)

The highlight for her however, (even higher than the wailing of the glittered )was hearing The Quote-inator reply to the one tower security guard(who, facing him with bulging muscles crossed and a dark glare, asked why such destruction and backhandedness was necessary) 

“All warfare is based on deception.”

She stretched and smiled at the memory of it all. Walking to the 65th floor didn’t seem that far now. Not that far at all. 

Leaning to the table, she grabbed another apple out of a giant metal bowl filled to the brim with them. She didn’t really know who kept refilling it for her, or who it was from but if she took the note as any indication she already knew. 

She didn’t see it right away of course, she was distracted by APPLES! but as she was sitting on the couch munching away, flipping through the channels, she saw it out of the corner of her eye. Hanging from the side of the bowl was a small charm. Her face split open and her night infinitely better as she decided pies would be delicious with these apples.

Glinting in the lights, was a tiny metal Enterprise.


End file.
